Day 69

The Happy:  Favorite blogger ever

Amber Fillerup.

Link to her blog: Barefoot Blonde.

Do I know her personally?  No, I don't.  I've never met her in my life.

But she is a die hard romantic who says exactly what everyone wants to say but never actually does (and in that particular way, she is me times a million, which explains why I love her blog).  Ms. Fillerup is also hilarious, real, and the eff if she isn't a right beauty queen.  She's the kind of girl I have the funnest time reading about, because jealous people hate her and with-it people appreciate her, as all should.

In the next life, if we choose our best friends, I'm going to pick her to be one of mine.

Also, as someone who is dealing with the suckages of finally admitting my 3-year-long relationship with a guy I was in love with and dying to spend the rest of my life with is as dead as dead gets (and has been for months, but now I'm mentally able to accept the fact that he's sort-of-dating another girl), Amber's blog is somehow the exact dosage of whatever it is I need right now.  I don't want to complain out loud, because it's not really a problem.  It's just one of those things where you don't want the person so much as you want them to not want somebody else, and in a way you almost feel betrayed...I mean come on, 3 years?  That's a long time to give to somebody when you're in college.  Obviously, he's learned a lot from our relationship (dos and don'ts) and likes a new girl who he can be fresh and happy with because with her does not come the baggage that 3 years holds.  And yea, I totally feel like Miss Won't Say Her Name Publicly (because that's not classy...like any of this is, haha) gets to now enjoy something great, something new and improved, something she had absolutely no hand in helping bring about.  But you know what?  I can't care.  Because like I said, it's not the person I want.  It's the wanting of him to not want another.  And that's unrealistic (which is why I like Amber's blog, it's soooo real).  There isn't a day I don't pray for the ability to stop wanting every last little bit of him.  Today I woke up and realized I'm nearly there, so I feel AWSHUM.

But Amber, your blog helps.  A lot.  Thanks for being real, girlfriend.

Love, Happy Girl

P.S. I want to move to NYC sooooooooooooo badly!  More on this later!  Readers, I love you!